


Guardian of the Forest of Death

by TheBizarreKaar



Category: Naruto
Genre: Adoptive Parent Hatake Kakashi, Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Animal Traits, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abandonment, Child Neglect, Feral Behavior, Hatake Kakashi is so Done, M/M, Malnutrition, Protective Hatake Kakashi, Wilderness, Wolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 08:34:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22967029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBizarreKaar/pseuds/TheBizarreKaar
Summary: Naruto was abandoned and became a surprising occupant of Training Ground 44. Thriving and at peace until he comes face to face with the truth.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 59
Kudos: 443





	1. ukiyoe

The night of October 10th was a tragic one. Minato Namikaze and his wife Kushina suffered through death as the last of their moments were spent saying their goodbyes to their newborn son. The Sandaime had watched with remorse and felt immense grief at having lost two of Konoha's kindest and strongest shinobi.

When the Nine Tailed fox was finally sealed away inside of the infant boy and the barrier had been dispersed, Hiruzen Sarutobi made a terrible decision. He would not watch in vain as the village was destroyed again. No. The boy must be dealt with.

He ordered his men to take the boy and leave him in training ground 44. It would be best to let nature take its course, for nobody would accept the execution of a day old baby. Not even his strongest ANBU would accept that mission, especially of it was the Yondaime's heir. But all the more reason, the boy would be a target, and would put the lives of every villager at risk. One death as opposed to thousands, as heartless as it was, it was a better alternative.

So the deed was done and Naruto, the host of the menacing kyuubi was left to die in the Forest of Death.  
_____

A pack of wolves surrounded the small form sniffing at the strange scent that came from it. A female wolf nuzzled against the smooth face in awe, the brilliant hues staring innocently at the dark eyes of the wolf. He smiled at those warm eyes, and only a mother's instinct would know that this creature had been ripped from it's family.

"I'll take responsibility for the pup, I will raise him as my own." She said, curling her body protectively around the blonde. The other members gasped in shock. What was she thinking!? It wasn't of their kind, it wouldn't be natural. He didn't look like the rest, things like that would cause trouble in the future. He was one of * _them_ *.

"If that is the case then make sure we won't regret this. Am I clear, Suzume?" The alpha male of the pack said, turning his back on her and the babe. She growled in agreement and gently picked Naruto up in her jaws and left to return to her den. The young pup could be no older than a few hours, the barely dried blood told a tale that ought never to be heard.

She cleaned him as best she could and let him rest against her, the poor thing was exhausted and promply fell asleep. Suzume could only wish to understand the cruel and twisted nature of the human species.

Throughout the years as Naruto grew and matured, he surprisingly fit in very well. He was an adept hunter and the pack feared and resented him in those moments. His blue eyes would flash red and it was like watching a beast. Suzume, was worried as well, humans had started patrolling the area more frequently over the years and it gnawed at the back of her mind every day. She could only do so much to shelter him from them and hide his true identity.

Naruto had yet to come across a human in the first 11 years of his life. And somehow she knew that she couldn't keep the truth from him any longer. Because his curiosity burned strongly and always asked her what that huge thing in the center of the forest was. The time was coming soon, and he needed to be prepared.

"Pup, come with me." Suzume spoke as gently as she could and hoped that the boy would forgive her in the end. Naruto stretched out all his limbs as he raised from the nook he was perched in. They left the darkness of the den and traveled towards the river.

He expected her to stop at the waters edge, because he was never permitted to cross. But she sunk into the crystal clear water and trudged to the other side. She shook her dark grey fur and sat waiting patiently for him to cross as well.

He dipped a toe in fearing for the cool touch he had grown accustomed to over the years, but it was warm, and now that he noticed the air was warm too. He sighed and braced himself against the current of the river as he followed Suzume's path. He wobbled on his feet and hands and peered around himself in pure astonishment. He was right in front of a large structure and it was like looking at a mountain.

He turned to look at his guardian to find her looking at him with concern. That made him nervous. He was torn between her and the tower. She sighed heavily and started speaking the secret of the young child she had come to love.

"You are now old enough to know this. I only hope you don't come to hate your own kind. You are not a wolf. You were never supposed to be with us. Our kind took you in when you were just a day old. This place, I've seen your kind going in and out of here for a long time. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner."

Naruto looked at her with shocked, confused eyes. He felt hurt and angry, that the life he had known was a complete lie. He couldn't look at her any longer and ran into the tower. He heard her howl at him, but he couldn't bear to turn around and back to that false life.

Yet when he heard pained yips and growling and shouting from all around he did run back outside. Only to find Suzume being surrounded by strange two legged beings with sharp sticks. He grew angry, how dare they attack his mother.

His fury gave way to strange power that he had no control of and he charged at the creatures with strange faces. He got two of them down but one of them had strange powers that paralyzed his body, objects that looked strangely like the trees of the forest. He caught sight of grey and red eyes in front of him and they slapped him on the forehead. His vision went dark and he heard Suzume howl one last time as he was carried away from his family, his home, and the life he had come to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ukiyo has several meanings. It can mean miserable world, or floating world. It can also mean living in the moment, detached from the bothers of life.


	2. hi fun kou gai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi is PISSED.

To say Kakashi was surprised would be a complete understatement. Even to say he was pissed would sum up the same. No Kakashi was fucking livid. When he accepted the mission to perform a reconnaissance on the conditions of training ground 44 and report his findings to his superior, he was not expecting to find the living and breathing son of his mentor and former Hokage.

He expected the same results from his previous years of patrol. Nothing besides dangerous wildlife inhabiting the forest. A pack of wolves, an ambush of tigers, a couple of bears and one giant centipede. The same as every year he took on this mission. He always wondered what the Sandaime was looking for, and now he knew.

Why the absolute fuck was the heir of the Yondaime in the Forest of Death?

Kakashi was intelligent, so he could only analyze the situation and come to a few conclusions. Yet, could he believe them, despite the truth right before his eyes? Said boy was crouched low on all fours, eyeing him with distrust, anger, and confusion. And Kakashi couldn't blame him.

_____

When his team patrolled the area around the tower he was not aware that there would be a wolf in the vicinity, since most of the wildlife stuck to the wooded areas of the arena. So he was pretty alarmed to find one roaming the perimeter of the structure. He did not intend to harm the creature, only wanted it to return to it's pack.

Being something akin to a wolf himself, in everything but form he felt protective of the animal. Yet his teammates seemed to have other intentions. Then he heard what could only be called a blood curdling scream behind him. He was caught off guard, when something rushed in front of him and attacked the two members who brandished their kunai at the large canine.

Tenzou seemed to react quickly and restrained the beast when Kakashi quickly shook himself from his shock and placed a chakra suppression seal against their foreheard.

When those demonic slitted eyes faded to brillant blue Kakashi felt his heart stop when he suddenly recognized the young boy in front of him. And then he vowed to hunt down and murder the person who * _dared_ * to throw this precious boy in the most vile place in the Fire Country. Because once again, why the FUCK was he in this place?

He took him from Tenzou and cradled his body gently in his arms. Despite his size, he was quite a featherweight. His body was scrawny and his bones protruded. He could feel each individual rib and the same was true for his spine. Kakashi was vibrating with venom. This child should not be in these deplorable conditions. He was astonished he was still alive despite his questionable health.

He sighed in relief when he saw that the wolf was unharmed and they almost seemed to nod to him and then took off into the woods. A bizarre notion, that they seemed to accept him of all people. Kakashi Hatake, the cold blooded killer. He had more blood on his hands than the daimyo's wife had jewels and gold.

"Is that who I think it is?" Tenzou asked when Kakashi gently pushed his dingy, matted hair away from his face. Kakashi looked up at him in caution, because nobody should be able to tell who he was. He was covered in probably years of filth. His long hair was a dirty brown, and his skin covered with streaks of dirt and sweat. Yet despite that, he could only be Minato's son. Those eyes were what gave him away.

"That depends. Can you keep this confidential between us? There was probably a reason why he was left here, don't you think." Kakashi sighed and stood making his way over to his teammate and the corpses of the other members.

"Hmm, you know I won't tell. I trust you." Kakashi searched his face, and found nothing suspicious. So he nodded in response because who knows if anyone was listening. The Sandaime had eyes and ears all over the village.

"What are you going to do with him?" Tenzou asked as he sealed both of the bodies into scrolls. They started walking back towards the gate they came through. And it gave Kakashi time to come up with a plan.

"I'm going to bring him to my apartment. And I will get to the bottom of this. Because this" he motioned to the boy unconscious on his back. "Is something I never thought I would ever see. Anywhere else, maybe, but not here." Kakashi seethed angrily.

As soon as they were free from the training ground Kakashi bid Tenzou farewell, and shunshinned to his apartment. First things first, the boy needed a bath and something to wear, because he was nude when they found him.

Kakashi methodically cleaned him, as if he were his pet dog or something. And yes, that shade of blonde hair was unmistakable. This was definitely Minato's child. His skin was suprisingly a unblemished peach color with all of the dirt gone. His body's condition was more disturbing than he thought. He was very emaciated and tiny for his age. It was 11 years since he was born, yet he looked as if he were 6 or 7 at most.

He had nothing to dress him in. At all. Even his clothes from when he was a chunin wouldn't fit him. So he wrapped him in a thin blanket instead and placed him gently on his bed. He'd have to buy him a set of clothes.

His hair was clean and free of dirt and leaves, but his hair was too matted to be brushed, so unfortunately it would need to be cut. That would be better left to a professional though. He thought about who he would call when he had a stroke of genius.

The Inuzuka Clan had some respectable veterinarians, and they probably had to deal with matted fur all the time. They would probably be able to help with doing a physical and checking for any infections or the like. They might be determined to bring him to Konoha Hospital, and that would bring up all sorts of complications. Still it was worth a try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi fun kou gai describes a righteous, miserable anger, a frustration and despair over a situation that seems terrible but cannot be changed.


	3. arigata meiwaku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto finally wakes up and Kakashi is already regretting everything.

Kakashi was jolted awake by rabid growling and rough scratching at his door. He flicked the light switch on and pitied the sight in front of him. Naruto was finally awake.

He was on all fours backed up against the door, twisted in a way that had Kakashi worried for his spine. He stood from his bed and cringed at the way Naruto shrunk back in fear.

"Naruto? Hey..." Kakashi didn't know how to handle kids, let alone a wild one. How do people calm them down? Ugh, what was he thinking, adopting the boy? Well it was too late now.

"...it's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you." Kakashi slowly approached him, keeping himself as still as possible, no jerky movements so as not to make him panic. He lowered himself on the ground on his knees, mimicking Naruto, trying to make himself more familiar to him. He paused about a couple feet away from him, when Naruto raised his defenses.

Naruto growled and bared his teeth in an attempt to scare him away but the action just made Kakashi sigh in frustration. How they hell was he supposed to do this...He was tired from the stress of the day as well as trying to come up with a game plan on what exactly he needed to do to uncover Naruto's trauma. Needless to say, he stayed up for about sixteen hours straight. And he could feel the anxiety worming it's way in now that he was half awake.

"How about this, I'll make you a nice meal and we can deal with this in the morning, hmm?" Kakashi could barely keep his eyes open, having been roused from his fitful slumber. He really should have thought this whole thing over before he decided to do this. He was already regretting it.

Kakashi probably wouldn't be able to make him understand words for a very long time. Somehow though he thought the boy understood what he said for a second, when he tilted his head to the side in thought and nodded silently. But that was impossible, since he lived in isolation for eleven years without human contact. He shouldn't be able to understand him, even if he wanted him to. Yet...

To test his theory he tried something else. "If you understand me say 'yes and no'." Naruto blankly stared at him for a couple seconds before opening his mouth in response. "...sssss....nnn." Well then. He can't say complete words but it was a great start.

"Okay, I am Kakashi. I am going to be taking care of you from now on, can you try saying Kakashi for me?" Said man waited patiently until Naruto answered him. "...ssshhii." Good enough.

"Alright Naruto. I'm gonna go make you something to eat now. I'll be right back." With that Kakashi stood and backed away slowly and turned to walk into his kitchen. "What should I feed him? He's been raised by wolves...so...uh raw meat maybe?" He figured it was worth a shot. So he pulled whatever meat he had stocked in his fridge, which ended up being a large steak.

He wasn't sure about the consequences of Naruto choking on the rather thick chunk of raw beef so he decided to cut it into bite size chunks and put it on a plate. It was a rather alarming portion of food for such a small child but...he was malnourished and any extra amount of protein would be helpful.

He pushed the plate towards the feral boy making sure to keep a safe distance away. Naruto sniffed at it suspiciously before ravenously devouring the meal. Kakashi heaved a huge sigh of relief, thank heavens something was going right. "Okay, when you're done we need to get back on the bed, we need to sleep."

When Naruto finished every last bite, Kakashi was stunned. He didn't actually think he would eat everything. He was glad that he had an actual appetite though, which led him to wonder about the eating habits he had aquired. He ate as if something would try and steal the food from him, growling and guarding the dish fervently.

"Are you done?...Do you want more?" He asked when Naruto hesitantly crawled over to him afterwards, sniffing the air around him. Trying to find the source of sustenance, just like an actual animal. He flinched away hard when Kakashi went to reach his hand out to wipe a streak of blood from his mouth.

"Sorry...That's my fault, I shouldn't have done that." Kakashi stood from his spot and picked up the empty plate. After gathering another thick portion of that same steak he returned to find Naruto curled up in front of the door. Asleep.

"Oh..." Kakashi was startled at the sight, then smiled at the boy. It would be awhile before he trusted him complicitly, but at least he was out of the Forest of Death. Anything would be better than staying in that place. He returned the plate to the fridge and went to grab his comforter to cover the sleeping form. While he wanted to move him to the bed, where it was comfortable, he didn't want to test the boundaries that the boy placed.

He laid down and try as he might could not find a single wink of sleep. Great. So he went over the plan for tomorrow. There were a lot of things to be done. Kakashi couldn't even fathom what the reaction the Hokage would have when he requested to leave ANBU. It would get ugly, but Naruto needed him more than the village at this point. And he would fight tooth and nail to make sure the boy got the attention he deserved.

**THE NEXT DAY**

It was a nightmare and a half to dress Naruto into somewhat decent clothes, and even more so for shoes. He had never had this much issue with anything before and he was trained to kill people. He was about to snap when he remembered that Naruto didn't know better. So he forgot about the shoes altogether.

The next problem was getting to the compound. The second they would be out in the open, he expected Naruto to try and run off. And he couldn't risk just anybody seeing him. So he could only shunshin and hope to god the kid doesn't run off. The only issue with that is the fact that he was now cowering in the corner. No doubt he would try to attack him if he came anywhere near him.

"Hey, I'm going to bring you somewhere, so I'm going to need you to stay right there okay?" He bent low and grabbed his shoulder immediately before he could get anywhere. And held his hand up in a half tiger seal and transported them to the Inuzuka compound quickly.

At first when Kakashi showed up inside the clan compound with the kid, Tsume took one look at him in shock and told him to leave the premises. But after watching the blood drain from the copy-nin's face, she realized the situation. This wasn't a simple trip for him. Not one bit.

"Fine. Come in I'll go grab Hana and have her take a look at him. For now go take a seat in the living room. I'll be right back." Tsume said leaving Kakashi and Naruto in the genkan. Kakashi sighed, turning to look at the wild child cowering against his leg, shaking like a leaf. Clutching him for dear life. However...

When Kakashi bent to pick him up Naruto yelped and growled at him. "Nnnn" He sounded out...and Kakashi could only stifle the anger at what he was trying to say. * _No?!_ * This stubborn kid. "We need to go to the other room Naruto." Kakashi felt the static migraine worsen at the frustration. He was going to need to do something about the oncoming rage.

"Nnnn...ggg...eee..mmmnnn" He tried to speak again but it wasn't any semblance of words that Kakashi's ever heard. He still wasn't able to decipher exactly how he could talk...and understand him. Perhaps the wolves were trained to speak like his summons. For now that was the only explanation he had.

"This will be over before you know it, okay?" Kakashi said stooping low to be somewhat eye level with him. He held his arms out in invitation, hoping the kid would accept him. No such luck, for he bolted away from him and the figures that were approaching them. Kakashi felt a persistant twitch behind his closed left eye.

"What the--" a shout could be heard from the other room along with a loud crash. All three adults ran into the room to find that Naruto collided with Kiba, Tsume's son. A small puppy sniffed at Naruto, who was backing away from them, and licked his face causing Kiba to become confused. Akamaru only did that to people he liked, namely family and friends. What the hell?!

Naruto growled and backed away from them bumping into Kakashi's leg, causing him to become hysterical. He was acting like...well. Exactly in his nature. The day just started and Kakashi already wanted it to be over. He waited for an opening after Naruto started flailing his limbs and grabbed him and pressed him to his body. His legs and arms wrapped around his body tensely and Kakashi barely noticed when he dug his nails into his shoulders and kicked at his ribs.

"Nnnnnn!" Naruto hissed in his ear, trying to twist out of his arms and Kakashi wanted to throw caution to the wind and knock him out, but he was a child and Kakashi had more patience than that...even if it was wearing thin. "Naruto, that's enough!" He barked angrily, making Naruto whimper and lose the fight in his hold.

"Naruto?! You don't mean...* _that_ * Naruto, do you?" Tsume eyes widened in astonishment when she did a double take on the blonde boy in Kakashi's arms. Shit. "Uh...no?" He dumbly replied.

"You don't sound too sure there Hatake..." Shit. He turned to her and gave her a pleading look. "If I told you where I found him, you'd probably do the same as I did." Tsume raised her eyebrows at that. "And where exactly did you find him?" Hana asked, eyeing the boy's fragile state. He clung to Kakashi defeatedly, burying his face in his chest.

Kakashi was silent for a beat. "...training ground fourty-four." He sighed out, clutching the boy tighter to him. There was a collective gasp in the room and both women gave Naruto horrified looks. "How? He's been missing since the day he was born...he couldn't have survived in the Forest of Death for that long. There's no way!"

Kakashi remembered the female wolf that was with Naruto at the time of his first meeting. "This is all really complicated. But you can't tell anyone, at least until I figure out the reason why he was put in there in the first place." He had a sneaking suspicion he already knew the answer to that. But his answer would break his heart.

"So there's got to be a good reason why you're here then right? Well?" Tsume asked tapping her foot impatiently. "He desperately needs a physical, and his hair is too matted to be brushed so I figured a veterinarian would be a good place to start. Considering his...state." Kakashi simply replied. He was getting ready to shift Naruto's weight to his hip when Kiba suddenly shouted. The loud noise caused Naruto to growl right in his ear and cling tighter to him. He was so done with this already.

"Arrrggghh! Can somebody explain to me whats going on! Who the hell is that and why is he in our house?!" All three adults looked at him with exasperation. "Kiba! Don't be rude!" Tsume shouted cuffing Kiba on the back of the head. "Sorry about this brat of mine, he doesn't have any manners. Kiba! Apologize right now!" She said glaring at her son. "But mom--" when he shrunk under her scrutinizing stare he mumbled an apology. Kakashi suddenly remembered why he hated kids.

During that time Hana took the chance to grab her medical kit and brought it to the living room. "Alright, Kakashi can you keep him still for me? I need to check his heart rate and make sure he is breathing properly." She put her stethoscope on and Naruto yelped at the cool touch of the metal. Kakashi was going to have permanent scratches on his shoulders if he kept this up. A nail trim in the future probably wouldn't be too bad of an idea either.

"Everything looks clear. Honestly I'm a little surprised since he looks like this. Okay...you said something about his hair?" Hana took the time to pick up some dreads in Naruto hair. Yeah those would pose an issue in the long run.

"You need to hold him down for this next part Kakashi, he's not going to like it." Hana said as she got ready to trim the matted parts of his hair. The scissors in her hands were just as sharp as a kunai. One wrong move and she'd have to stitch something. Kakashi was more concerned for Naruto at the moment who looked like he was ready to attack her. What even was his life right now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> arigata meiwaku is used to describe a situation in which someone does something for you that you didn’t want them to do, and you tried to avoid it. Nevertheless, the person went through with the plan, determined to help you or show their support, and despite all of the trouble or irritation it caused, you are expected to express gratitude as a result of social convention.


	4. datsuzoku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto is learning and then someone shows up out of the blue.

Naruto was looking a hell of a lot different, he no longer looked like a feral savage. His unruly blonde hair was cut short, spikes falling just above his eyes. And was currently curled up in a ball on the floor, asleep, none the wiser to the grim conversation taking place.

Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose, at the startling revelation he had stumbled upon. There were only a few people present between the birth of Naruto and the unsealing of the Nine Tailed Fox. He would get to the bottom of this and he refused to believe that his mentor would damn his own child from beyond the grave.

"Tenzou. You are the only one I trust to do this. As you can see, I can't exactly leave with these current circumstances. And while I also appreciate your offer of keeping an eye on him, I am not in a position to take you up on it just yet. Who knows how he would react if he woke up, and I wasn't here." Kakashi crossed his arms tightly across his chest and sighed heavily. 

Tenzou gave him a pitying smile and carefully patted him on the shoulder in a comforting gesture. "Are you sure, captain? You look worse for wear. The least I could do is let you take a rest for your troubles." Kakashi leveled him with a sheepish look. "Maybe next time. Right now I have more important things to worry about than my beauty sleep." He gave him an eye smile, hoping to lighten the heavy atmosphere.

"Alright then. What do you need?" Tenzou asked seriously, keeping the slumbering child in the back of his mind. "I need you to investigate the shinobi that I've assumed to be the last people to see Naruto during the attack eleven years ago. There is a total of about 15 or so people, and be forewarned they're all Anbu and one of them...is the Third."

Kakashi frowned. His current theory is that whoever was behind the Nine Tails attack, was the one who subjected Naruto to this lifestyle. Yet in his heart, he feared the truth was much darker, and devastating. It would cause chaos and ruin in the village. And make him question all of his own values and morality. He will not follow someone of that nature like a blind sheep.

Tenzou was unnaturally quiet, and seemed to hold a pensive frown as well on his face. Their eyes met and Kakashi tensed considerably at the intensity that held his own. "Are you suggesting that you are suspecting our Hokage for this? I could face serious consequences for doing this. You could face serious consequences." But Kakashi had already come to those conclusions. And he would be damned if he didn't do right by his sensei's son.

"Like I said, I trust you to get the job done. You are an Anbu, like me. This kind of work is what we do for a living Tenzou. Are you second guessing your skills and abilities?" Kakashi questioned him, half-heartedly regretting asking his comrade to do this. He should've known better than to rely on others to do what should have been his job alone.

"No, that's not...I just hope you know what you're doing Kakashi. For his sake and yours." And with that Tenzou nodded to his captain and shunshinned away. Kakashi let out the breath he was holding and relaxed his body, slouching against the wall behind him. 

He peeked over at the curious blue eyes blinking up at him and had to stifle a smile at the wild untamed hair that framed his face. "Are you hungry Naruto?" He asked and shock was present on his face when Naruto answered. "Yes." Did Naruto just say a complete word?

"Heh, would you look at that. You're learning already there kiddo." He leaned away from the stability of the wall and stepped forward toward Naruto. During the mental stress of having to be held whilst getting his hair properly fixed, he'd grown accustomed to being casually touched by Kakashi. 

He still cringed before Kakashi's hand gently patted his head and ruffled his hair soothingly, like petting a dog. He did not cower away though instead seemed more intent on the attention. Before he got carried away though, Kakashi turned and went into the kitchen, Naruto on his heels.

"Would you like to try it, Naruto?" He asked him as he prepared the ingredients for miso soup and rice along with the raw meat. Naruto had been skeptically looking at the food and quirked his head to the side before nodding. "If you don't like it let me know alright?" He glanced down at the blonde occasionally as he curiously watched him cook the meal.

Once he was finished he placed a bowl in front of Naruto, who sat at the table despite his lack of cultural understanding. Kakashi had to hold back at the way he started lapping at it. Like it was a bowl of water or something. "Okay, hold on there. Why don't you try this..." Kakashi came around behind him and grabbed his hand and placed a chirirenge in it. And guided his hand to scoop up some soup with the spoon.

Naruto stared up at him with confused eyes when Kakashi let his hand go carefully. Unsure of what to do he just stared at it intensely. Kakashi returned to his own seat and caught Naruto's attention. "Here, like this." He lifted his own chirirenge and sipped at it slowly then waited for Naruto to mimic his actions.

He was clumsy, due to a fact that he probably never dexterous with his hands before now. And he managed to spill all of it on himself, but the gesture...that was spot on. He chuckled at the stubborn glare that Naruto forced on the bowl. And he kept at it, until he managed an attempt without spilling a single drop. And that blinding grin chipped away at the wall surrounding Kakashi's heart.

And then suddenly, what he feared most came knocking on his door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the principle of datsuzoku signifies a break from daily routine or habit, a certain freedom from the commonplace. It involves a feeling of transcending the ordinary which results in pleasant surprise and unexpected amazement.


	5. hiraeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi learns the truth from Naruto after an unexpected visit from the man who cursed him himself.

Hiruzen Sarutobi stared at Kakashi's door for a while before he got his nerves to settle down. There were a couple matters that bothered him. First and foremost was the sudden sabbatical from ANBU. Why did his most talented shinobi need a break now, when every time he offered him leave, he refused adamantly. Be it from pride, stubborness, or because he had grown accustomed to the lifestyle, who could say.

Secondly was the rumor going through the village about him suddenly adopting a child. And if the rumors were true, then that would explain the sudden appearance of such a child, peering at him from beyond the window. Before he had the chance to knock, Kakashi opened the door, a hardened gaze calculatingly observing him.

"Lord Third, this is rare of you, to show up at my doorstep unannounced." The boy peeked around him from around Kakashi's hip, brilliant blue eyes staring up at him curiously. Hiruzen raised his eyebrow at the statement. "Well, I have been making my rounds lately, checking in so to speak. I came because I was worried about your sudden disappearance from the shinobi register." He glanced down at the boy, when Kakashi moved his hand to block him from view.

"As you can see I have something more important to worry about at the moment. A distant relative passed away recently and left him in my custody as per their final wishes. He was a war orphan that they took in. Now if that was all, I'd like to get back to our dinner." Hiruzen didn't remember the Hatake clan having any other members. But perhaps his late mother...?

Blonde hair and blue eyes were not _that_ uncommon, the Yamanaka clan also had those features. Just not that particular shade of golden hair, nor those deep blue, vast like the ocean eyes. He nodded in acceptance and turned to leave when Naruto reached out his tiny hand to clutch at his robe. A garble of unintelligible noises left his mouth and when Hiruzen turned he saw wide fearful eyes. _'Why?'_

Kakashi's face paled, as if he'd seen a ghost. And he had quickly placed a hand over Naruto's mouth. "Maa, sorry about that, he's not that great with words yet. Kids am I right?" Hiruzen pinched his brow together at the scene. While he didn't understand any of the words the boy mumbled, it seemed like Kakashi had. Interesting.

Hiruzen knelt to take a good look at boy. "I see. Kakashi? You should enroll him in a few classes at the academy. It would be better if he learned with peers his age."

"About that...as a member of the Hatake clan, I should properly teach him our clan's way, isn't that right?" Hiruzen raised his head in a rush at the words and then stood to level his gaze with Kakashi's. "He will be a Hatake then? Have you filled out the proper documentation for that? If not I can have someone bring it to you." Kakashi kept his calm expression, fuming on the inside.

"No need for that. Everything has already been taken care of. Now if you don't mind, I think dinner has gone cold. If you'll excuse us." Kakashi all but shut the door in his face. It was unprofessional to act that uncouth, yet he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Very * _very_ * wrong, and it left him feeling sick. He knelt down to hold Naruto in his arms tightly. "Naruto..." He whispered, fearing that the Third could hear him beyond the door. "What did you mean by **_evil_**?"

Naruto was quiet for a bit before he tried to speak again. "He...put...me...in..." And gestured wildly with his hands making a big circle with his arms. At that Kakashi felt his entire body go numb. It was as he feared. His leader, took a vow to _protect_ all of the people of the village, not just those deemed worthy enough. He had to supress an unbridled rage at the thought. He squeezed Naruto tightly, as if the action could relieve him of the pain. "You're going to be okay now, I promise. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again. I swear on my life."

At that present moment Kakashi made a promise and he vowed to keep it. Or die trying. Hiruzen Sarutobi had just made an enemy of Konoha's most loyal shinobi. Betrayed by those he trusted most, Kakashi had a choice to make. Either stay in the village and pretend to be blind to the blights of the village. Or cut all ties and start a new life. Neither were great options. But if he did make a choice it would be for Naruto's best interests.

He decided to renounce his loyalty to the village, for Naruto's sake. Where they would go...that would be a decision to be made on the journey. As of now getting out would be the top priority.

He released Naruto from his hold and stood to go gather his personal affects as well as luggage enough to travel for a few months. He made a small one for Naruto, rations for their travel and the very few articles of clothing he had. In his large pack he had camping equipment, some extra clothing, essentials, and all the scrolls he could carry from his clan's archives to teach to Naruto on the way.

He pocketed the photograph of his team and took one last look at his stark apartment. He scooped up Naruto and shunshinned to the border of the village. He knew the perfect route to escape unnoticed and abused the fact that there were less ANBU on patrol that night to slip away. Gone like the wind that carried the breeze with them.

Naruto had a chance to become better than the life he was given and Kakashi would make damn sure of it. Konohagakure would not bind him, and he vowed to make Hiruzen pay for what he'd done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiraeth is a word of welsh origin meaning a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return. A home which never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief, for the lost places of your past.


	6. waldeinsamkeit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi and Naruto meet another interesting duo.

Kakashi took one last look at his headband and with a solemn vow, took his kunai and marked it permanently. It was a couple weeks into his self-proclaimed exile and while freedom was something he had never wished for, nature was becoming him. Or rather, Naruto had some great additions to their rogue lifestyle.

They had wandered aimlessly in the bordering towns and villages between Fire country and the Land of Waves for a good while before they had been approached by a rather unusual pair. To be honest though, he had expected something like this would happen eventually. He was rather infamous around the five great nations. And when word spread like wildfire that Copy-nin Kakashi, loyal ANBU of the Hidden Leaf Village, turned rogue, all hell broke loose.

It was hard to keep moving, with no time to relax and ANBU of every nation hunting him down. Something like this isn't what he wanted for young Naruto. So when Zabuza and young Haku offered sanctuary to them, Kakashi was more than grateful. He kept Naruto's legacy a secret for now, not wanting him to become a target at such a young age. Though he couldn't help but feel that the duo had an uncanny ability to make accurate assumptions about the blonde.  
_____

"So...Kakashi. Where'd you pick up the brat? He's a savage, at least that I can tell. Did you find him on your travels like how I found Haku? His eyes are...interesting." Zabuza's gravelly voice echoed in the damp cave, making said boy jump, where he was sitting next to Haku. The young dark haired boy smiled gently at Naruto and soothingly calmed him down, and Kakashi had to swallow a sting of _something_ when Naruto allowed him to.

"Maa...you could say that. He's had quite the upbringing, being raised by the wilderness and all. I'm sure he'd give you a run for your money when it comes down to hunting." Kakashi gave him an eye smile, and had to choke back his reaction to maim at the pitiful way Zabuza glared at the back of Naruto's head.

"Raised by the wilderness you say? That explains a lot. He'll make a fine tool. A good guard dog for you. Isn't that right?" Kakashi clenched his jaw for the umpteenth time that night. Naruto wasn't a tool to be used and then thrown away. He was the precious son of his late hokage. And he wouldn't sit by and let people who didn't even know him, spit on his life like that. Still, Zabuza was being courteous by allowing them shelter and safety from the assassins lying in wait.

"I'd say he's more a man's best friend type of canine honestly. He has yet to see the true essence of a shinobi, and I don't plan on him seeing it anytime soon. Not if I can help it. I'm sure you know what I mean." Kakashi stood abruptly to end the conversation and kneeled down to whisper into Naruto's ear.

Naruto smiled brightly at him and Kakashi led him outside, where the sun was just setting. Naruto relaxed for a bit before he released a stream of dense heavy chakra and a reddish hue bubbled around him. Kakashi readied himself to follow after him at the same moment Naruto opened his eyes, once blue now a fiery red.

It was dinner time.

When Kakashi first witnessed his change in form, he almost had a panic attack, visions of the past hauntingly eerie in the silent woods. They were far from the reaches of civilization so if anything were to have had happened, the only remains of him they'd find would have been singed bone. Yet Naruto only channeled enough chakra to be connected to the earth. To hunt for prey, not for sport or game but for necessity. He embodied the kyuubi as if they were one and the same and Kakashi was lucky enough to be his comrade.

If it would have been the opposite, he didn't even dare think of the case. He shuddered as a thrill of fear shot up his spine. He bolted after Naruto as he darted out of the mouth of the cave they were camping in and into the foggy forest. He kept to the shadows, lurking just behind him, keeping a careful eye on Naruto as he hunted.

He wanted to be by his side, something about the way his eyes glinted mischievously made it look like fun. And perhaps it was, but someone had to keep a level head. And Zabuza had started asking too many questions about the 'why' of their scenario.  
_____

**_The day after Kakashi and Naruto leave the village_ **

Hiruzen made his way a second time towards Kakashi's residence in the ANBU barracks. In hand he had a stack of papers for the boy in Kakashi's custody to be admitted to the academy. He knew that Kakashi would most likely ignore his offer but at least it would be there if he changed his mind.

He knocked on the door and grew pensive when he heard silence beyond the door. He held his pipe between his teeth and knocked on the door again before trying the knob. It wasn't like Kakashi to not say anything before leaving. Then again, he was always on long suicide missions, so his absense wasn't really that strange. To his surprise the door swung open easily.

Hiruzen carefully stepped into the hall and at first glance not much looked out of place. Yet as he walked through the apartment one thing became very clear. Kakashi Hatake was no longer in the vicinity. It was like all traces of him had disappeared. But what had caused him to go into hiding. Then it hit him.

There was absolutely no way that that boy could be...but it was so obvious. Nothing could have prepared him for this outcome. Not since the day he vowed never to remember. A secret so devastating to the village, so disgusting it left the taste of rot behind. Hiruzen chuckled darkly into the darkened apartment. He should have known fate would come back to haunt him.

He stood calmly and left the abandoned dorm to immediately track down his most trusted ANBU. Only to find another surprise waiting for him. His second most strongest and trustworthy ANBU Tenzou also nowhere to be seen. What kind of conspiracy was going on?

He stopped short of the Hokage tower and turned back towards the ANBU Barracks. If there was one person who could get things done and not make a big fuss of it, it was Danzo. The last thing he needed in the village was mass hysteria. 

The next year would be filled with much expectation. The Chunin Exams were in the making and team assignments were just around the corner. He had planned on asking Kakashi to give being an intructor a fair chance this year but with the ways things have turned out he'd have to find someone else to become team 7's sensei.  
_____

Kakashi carried Naruto's sleeping form onto his back as they traveled by nightfall. Zabuza made it perfectly clear that they would have to continuously be on the move so as not to give the enemy an advantage over them. What he wouldn't give to be able to sit and relax for a few days. All that went downhill the moment he decided to turn his back on his village. Well...not his anymore.

"Where will we be staying this time? Its starting to get too cold at night." Zabuza gave Kakashi a side glance and clicked his tongue in annoyance. "We can't all live in luxury, it'll be too risky. The boy won't be safe, that's is why you're doing this, or am I wrong?" Kakashi was silent as he stared ahead but conceded nonetheless. "I can't lose him."

It was a simple statement but the emotions stirring from it gave Zabuza pause. "Who are you protecting Hatake? You don't seem the type to get tangled up by children." Kakashi gave nothing away to suggest he was panicking on the inside. "He's just a kid who needs someone to look after him. That's all. He has nobody else to call family." Color him a little selfish when he says he wants to make it up to the boy for the lost time spent apart.

"So what _is_ his name then?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> waldeinsamkeit is a german word that refers to the feeling one has while being alone in the woods, usually a sublime or spiritual one


	7. litost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi gets used to the new lifestyle for Naruto's sake. One night he runs off after sensing something unusual in the woods.

A year later, after living in caves, Zabuza said that there was a decent place to settle in the Land of Waves. A place meant for rogues and mercenaries. A place for ninja who turned their back on their home. Where one could get a lump sum for grisly missions. As if Kakashi hadn't had enough of that being part of ANBU. Still if he wanted Naruto to have a proper comfortable life, he didn't have to understand what goes on when Kakashi and Zabuza left him in Haku's care. When he got home, nobody had to know how he slit an innocent man's throat to put food on the table.

They would wade into the frozen river, washing the remnants of it from their body, though he knows for a fact no matter how much he scrubbed his skin raw, the stench would never disappear. He was a shinigami, and death lingered wherever he stood. 

\-----

"Has he eaten?" Kakashi asked when they stepped through the threshold of their home. It wasn't much, but at least it sheltered them from most weather. He was returning home after a particularly brutal contract. He had to assassinate an entire clan and he had to empty what little contents of his stomach afterwards. He could barely look at the two cuddled together. He remembered the way one of the mothers pleaded with him for her son. He mildly wondered if that was how Itachi felt. After slaughtering everyone minus his little brother.

"Not yet, he kept saying he would like to wait for you. He still doesn't trust me I think." Haku let out a chuckle and nudge the blonde awake. It took two seconds for the boy to register the familiar face after a week of seperation. And another for Kakashi to brace himself for impact when Naruto jumped into his arms hugging him for dear life. He refused to let go and nuzzled under Kakashi's chin, roosting, as if he planned to live there forever. Kakashi sighed and left the building in several long strides until they were deep in the woods, surrounded by darkness and fog. It was a new moon tonight, no natural light meant Naruto would be much harder to keep track of.

Kakashi sat down and waited until Naruto decided to move, which wasn't long at all when he started sniffing around Kakashi suspiciously. "'Kashi? Are you hurt?" The older man tensed at the observation. Did he miss something when he washed earlier? "Ah...don't worry about it Naruto, I'm fine. More importantly, why haven't you been eating? I know you like to hunt, but you need more than fresh meat you know." Naruto pouted at that and Kakashi nudged him off. "Well, whatever the case may be, you need to eat so c'mon." Except Naruto refused to move. "No. I'm not hungry." He folded his arms in front of him and ignored Kakashi instead. "Naruto..." Kakashi growled, he wanted to eat and then sleep like the dead, though that was rarely the case nowadays. 

"You need to eat." Naruto glanced down at him with a petulant frown and shook his head in denial. "It hurts." Naruto grabbed Kakashi's hand and pressed it to his stomach. The older man bristled at the contact. Naruto was warm to the touch, feverish even. He leaned forward and moved his hand upward to place his palm on his forehead. Sure enough he was boiling. How did he not notice the sweat dripping off him? Or the way his body was trembling with effort. "Naruto? What's wrong? Do you feel sick?" Kakashi hadn't yet had to deal with a sick Naruto. He groaned heavily at the thought. He'd be needy and clingy, he wouldn't be able to do anything in the meantime. 

Naruto was quiet for a moment his ragged breath turning to pants and suddenly he perked up at something coming from the woods. Kakashi couldn't decipher anything coming in at a distance. But before he could grab Naruto's attention again he was off of him and running into the woods. He had to stifle the urge to scream his name and he cursed under his breath as he ran after him.

He frantically searched for his chakra signature finding it getting farther and farther away from him and he panicked. The was a massive chakra closing in on his young charge. He should've held on tighter to him and he begged the kami's to make sure he could get to him in time. "Shit Naruto, what the hell are you doing?"

He heard rustling next to him and pulled out a kunai to defend himself, yet didn't stop. His priorities lay with Naruto and making sure he was safe from harm. He half turned in anxious relief when he recognized Zabuza out of the corner of his eye. "Naruto huh? I should've guessed as much. You leaf shinobi are such tenacious liars aren't you. Here I thought you were harboring some kid you found off the streets. But instead you've hidden the Namikaze brat right under out noses this entire time. How...interesting, Kakashi." Zabuza gave Kakashi a disgusting leer and he felt fear grip him tightly. He zipped ahead of Zabuza and as he passed him let out a veiled threat. "If any harm comes to him I'll fucking kill you."

Zabuza guffawed at the threat. "As if. I'm more interested in what that large chakra I'm feeling is. Sorry but I could give two shits about that brat of yours, Namikaze or not." Kakashi frowned at the implications of that and turned his attention back on the direction of Naruto's chakra. They finally came to a large lake and Kakashi had to hold himself back at the sudden horrifying sight. There was a group of Mist Anbu surrounding Naruto and another person. He was about to step forward when Zabuza put his arm out, stopping him. 

"Son of a bitch! We need to leave right now. Kakashi let's go." But Kakashi stood his ground staring at Zabuza increduously. "I'm not leaving, Naruto is still out there." Zabuza started at him hard. "The brat might as well be dead. Don't you know who the fuck that is? It's the fourth Mizukage! Not to mention the fact that he is also the host of the Sanbi! You need to leave or they'll be delivering your head to the next outpost to collect your debt." Zabuza pulled at his arm but still Kakashi wouldn't budge. 

"I made a promise to never turn my back on my comrades. Let go of me so I can go protect him with my life, or I will take yours as well." Kakashi glared at his former comrade and for an instant Zabuza felt a shiver crawl up his spine. "Suit yourself you bastard." Zabuza turned tail and fled, and Kakashi knew then he would no longer have a home here.

He breathed deeply and said a silent prayer to anyone who would listen to keep Naruto safe. He ran for it and put as much chakra as he could to get there faster. In a blink of an eye, with a haphazard approach Kakashi looked down at the Mist's jinchuuriki and his entourage of assassins. He had no time to display any weakness so he refused to move even when Naruto tried to yank him away.

"So you must be the infamous Copy-nin Kakashi. It's a pleasure to meet you, even under these unfortunate circumstances. I can see you are accompanied by quite an interesting character. So tell me Kakashi Hatake, who are you protecting?"  
Yagura spoke with no malice, yet Kakashi could sense something wasn't quite right with the situation. He heard footsteps approaching and turned his head to sense the intruder. "Ahh, what a nice surprise."

A masked man oozing killing intent was behind him and Kakashi grit his teeth. Should he turn his back to the Mizukage? Or should he keep himself turned away from the man behind him. Naruto flinched when the Man stepped forward and Kakashi made his choice. He closed his eyes and steeled himself for any repercussions as he shunshinned in front of Naruto. "Who the hell are you?" He spit out at him his kunai held out accusingly. "Now is that any way to greet an old friend? I thought you would have learned some manners by now Kakashi." 

Kakashi bristled at the familiarity which the man spoke with. He blindly reached behind him to make sure Naruto was still there. When he found unruly blonde hair under his palm he sighed in relief. "Stay right next to me this time. Don't trust any of them." Naruto nodded weakly and leg go Kakashi's pant leg to step forward next to his caretaker. He was still wobbly on his feet but knew he would be just fine if the fox spirit inside him would lend him his strength.

"Naruto, it's time to hunt." Kakashi raised his headband up to reveal his glaring sharingan eye. And he shot forward flanking Naruto as the blonde attacked with deadly precision. Hunting wasn't just for nourishment anymore. No, in the past year Kakashi integrated intense training regimens everytime Naruto stealthily roamed the woods. Now you could barely tell the difference between a savage animal hunting for sport or Naruto tracking and killing to survive. Naruto was a monster, Kakashi had made sure of it. And it made Kakashi want to plunge a kunai into his own heart.

Kakashi just wished Naruto could've enjoyed his innocence just a bit longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Litost is nearly untranslatable, but Czech writer Milan Kundera describes it as ‘a state of torment created by the sudden sight of one’s own misery’.


End file.
